Mind Your Manners: Don't Forget to Say Thank You

Good morning job seekers!  With the current tight employment market the job seeker can have the upper hand in the job search.  This is great news for you.  Now I want to give you a little piece of advice; no matter how busy, important, or sought after you may be, you can always give yourself just a little bit of an edge in the job search if you practice good manners.

It Starts at Home:  As the mother of a recent college graduate I was advising him how to go about getting his first career job.  I was telling him to target his ideal companies and contact them directly.  Then after submitting a resume, politely following up within a week to show his continued interest in the position.  If he was given an interview, I told him to make sure he sent a thank you within 24 hours of the interview.  Seemed simple to me, and something I try to do after any meeting.  My son wasn't sure how to go about writing a thank you.  I am suddenly realizing that people don't naturally know to send a thank you after a meeting.

This was called to my attention recently when I set up an informational interview between a great family friend and my 32 year-old nephew.  My nephew is a math whiz, a college math instructor, very personable and well traveled.  He's looking to make a career change, and my friend is involved in many businesses that could use a sharp mathematician.   Being the gracious host my friend is, he invited my nephew to lunch to discuss career options, and picked up the tab.  This was of course a very kind gesture, and the meeting was very informative to my nephew.  Reports back were very positive and I was glad I could connect them.

To my surprise, a week later my friend followed up with the promising math mind, to give him additional resources for his career search.  I all of a sudden wondered if my nephew had thanked him for his time and help.  One week after that lunch and he hadn't.  I quickly gave him my recommendation to always follow up timely with someone in this type of situation, and that in no way is it being obtrusive.  I recommended in any thank you to say you appreciated his insight, his time and his help.  If there were any items that were brought up in the meeting that required following up on, bring them up in the note.  This isn't pestering, just a gentle nudge and acknowledgement that you were paying attention during the meeting.  My nephew was surprised by this advice, but said he would put it to use from now on.

Set Yourself Apart:  As a recruiter we are interviewing candidates for hard skills, and often, more importantly, for the soft skills that are so important for a cultural fit with an employer.  I do wait to see if someone that I interviewed sends a thank you, and sends it timely.  A little timer starts going off in the back of my mind after an interview to see if I'll get that follow up.  A great candidate does it quickly and often with a nice tidbit of information for me.  A good candidate is punctual and thankful in the message.  And then there are those that never follow up.  I don't remember them.  (Ok, just kidding, but it is something to think about)

Are Thank You Notes Old Fashioned?:  Several of my clients have been asking about thank you notes.  They are not getting them.  They too are looking for a follow up message after interviews, and sometimes it is the deciding factor when a few different candidates are under consideration.

As a fellow professional, I know many of us are working at our peak and time is precious.  Don't forgot that the interviewers time is precious as well.  Thank them.  Please!

PS:  I used to send letters, in the mail, to thank people.  I still do, but email is my preferred mode of communication in most thank you notes.  In a highly confidential situation, if you send a letter directly to the interviewer afterward, that letter may be seen by their assistant or raise questions about who sent it.  If you are interviewing for a very sensitive position, err on the side of caution and send an email directly to the interviewer.

PPS:  Ask your interviewer for his or her business card or for the permission of his or her information to be shared, say, with that crackerjack recruiter who put you up for the interview--me!

Cranky Recruiter's Interview Bloopers

Yes, dear reader, this blog is all about advice for the job hunt.  As they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make her drink.  I may put the advice out here for consumption, but often people don't know they could use the information.  I thought I'd share some of my favorite interview bloopers to lighten your day.  Think to yourself, "Oh great, is she talking about me?" or "Would hate to be that guy!"  No one ever needs to know but you and me.

Ditch the Beer, not your Career

Blooper:  A few years ago I was interviewing a tasting room manager candidate in a public market

setting.  I arrived a bit early and waited for him.  He sent me a quick text to see if I was there, which I was. He came over and found me, bringing his freshly poured pint of beer.  To put this in context, I was sitting in the common area, not consuming anything at about 11:00 am on a weekday.  In a friendly manner I asked why he was having a beer before our interview and he said he had been really nervous and wanted to calm himself down.  Luckily that occurred during the interview--he finished the pint right about the time I was concluding the interview.  He wasn't the right person for that job, and so far, any others I have worked on.

Moral:  If you find out your interview is about to start--chuck the liquor and get over to the interviewer quicker.

Hello, My Eyes are Up Here!

Blooper:  Maybe you know this, but in an interview it is best to look the other person in the eye or thereabouts.  When you are staring at their chest, navel or anything below their chin you can get yourself in trouble.  Years ago I was interviewing a seasoned salesperson and I was wearing professional business attire.  During the entire interview, his eyes gazed below my chin, and never looked up.   He did however discuss how he was recently divorced, was looking for a nice woman, and, oh, yeah, wants a new job.  Hmm, maybe he has to brush up on his dating skills too?

Moral:  No matter what, keep your eyes on the prize--a job--not anything else.

Would you Like Hollandaise with that Wad of Gum?

Blooper:  Decades ago I was interviewing a young recruiter that I was thinking about bringing onto my team.  He was energetic, had done some high-tech recruiting in the past, and had a good sense of humor.  We had a preliminary interview in the office, and for the second interview we met for lunch.  Salutations and ordering were complete and then our meals came.  The young recruiter took his large wad of gum out and put it on his plate.  Yum, appetizing.  Shockingly I did end up hiring him--and have plenty more stories of his shenanigans after that.  

Moral:  While he shouldn't of had all that gum in his mouth for an interview, his humor, experience and personality won me out--over the huge wad of gum which seemed to be joining us for lunch. 

Sunbather with a Slight Hint of Cocoa Butter

Blooper:  For a particular hospitality position I was doing back-to-back interviews at a coffee shop, meeting experienced managers every hour.  I had gotten to my third interview of the day, and in walked a young woman with her bikini top on under her sundress.  She also had her resume with her.  She had successfully managed teams of up to 5 tasting room personnel and was in charge of the operating budget and revenues for the winery's hospitality program.  And she was wearing a swimsuit.  Now that is wine country casual!  Oh, and for bonus points she did use cocoa butter for tanning so she smelled great.  May be a bit overpowering in a tasting room setting though.

Moral:  While it may be casual in wine country, I appreciate if you wear something that you didn't throw on after sunbathing.  

Thanks, I Needed a Pick-me-up

Blooper:  Recently I was recruiting for a manager role within the engineering department at a large winery.  My candidate met me at the right time, right place and was dressed appropriately.  She brought along her resume, references and some associated documents.  We started the interview at the coffee shop and things were going great.  Right about the time we got into details about her current role her hand struck her coffee cup, hurling it, uncovered, into my lap.  She had my attention then.  She apologized profusely, handled herself very professionally in a very awkward situation and tried to remedy the situation.  While I was wiping up the foamy macchiato, I was giggling on the inside.  This is something that I always worry about doing--not getting done to me.  She ended up interviewing for the position and got the job.  I'll take care of that dry cleaning bill!

Moral:  Things happen.  Be nice and conscientious and most of the time people understand.  And you'll be memorable.  Maybe even earn yourself a new nickname.  Macchiato Mayhem!

Take Home Message:  We all goof up.  Sometimes quite publicly, sometimes in ways only a few people witness.  Handling yourself professionally and courteously will pay off in the long run.  

Be Prepared: The Pre-interview Checklist

Every good scout knows to Be Prepared.  It is just as important when you are set up for a face to face interview, so here's my quick 7 Point Checklist

 7 Things I recommend to everyone when they are about to interview

• Bring a copy of your resume.
• Bring a list of references, present it if asked for.
• Dress appropriately.  Clean and pressed clothes are always a safe bet. 
• Avoid coffee right before your interview, but sipping a bit of water beforehand keeps you from getting dry mouth.
• Brush teeth before leaving home and check for spinach in your teeth before getting out of the car.  Pop a breath mint for good luck!
• Tell yourself you are a winner.  Check out this article on interviewing, attitude and luck: http://danariely.com/2013/02/16/ask-ariely-on-interviews-luck-and-the-canoe-test/  
• And most importantly, get there early.  15 minutes is good.  If you are there earlier, hang out nearby and drive into the business parking lot with 10 minutes to spare. 

      That should do it.  Now go in there, and knock them dead.  

Related Skype Articles to Read

After posting my survival guide to Skype interviews, I thought these other articles might be helpful for my readers.  Take a look at these tips:

How to Handle a Job Interview Over Skype

Seeking Work? Ready Your Webcam

A Good Impression on Skype

Cranky Recruiter: Stood Up for the Interview

Oh, hey, just back from driving for an hour, waiting around for an hour and driving back for an hour.  So that would be about 3 hours, give or take, of wasted time.  What was I thinking?--I made an appointment to interview someone last week, showed up at our arranged meeting spot, and he wasn't there.  I called, emailed, and haven't heard back.

This was an interview for a highly technical position, and it is hard to find qualified candidates for it.  Having that resume show up in my inbox was a thrill by itself.  Quickly I called him, did a phone interview, and with everything looking promising we booked an interview.

Then the doubts started creeping up.  I was rereading his resume and cover letter and there were inconsistencies.  He mentioned working at one company on his cover letter and on his resume another company was referenced.  Hmm, well that's something to ask about at the interview--maybe he was a subcontractor--maybe.

The second red flag was that this guy, who is a technically skilled winery professional, has been out of work for the last year.  When searching for people in this field, they are snatched up almost immediately when they are in the job market.  Hmm, what's up with this guy?

Oh yeah, and the guy of course suffered from TMI--giving too much information during our phone call.  Marital status, kids, bad previous employers, etc.  Good to know, but it was a bit of a sob story.

Ignoring these red flags I booked our interview.  While figuring out a spot to meet he mentioned that there was a good bar around the corner.  Hmmm, always good to know where the bar is--but not for an interview.

While sitting around waiting for him to show, I thought it made sense to send him a quick email.  Here's when I noticed his email address was a reference to alcohol.  Hmm, maybe I should worry about drinking on the job?  Maybe about missing work due to being on a bender? Or better yet, missing this interview because you didn't wake up this morning.

I'll now make sure not to miss any red flags, and trust my gut instincts.  The motto of a good recruiter, "Trust your gut!"  Now onto those other promising candidates.  Hope they didn't take a job during the time wasted waiting around for Mr. Fillerupbarkeep.

Why Didn't You Get the Job? No One Will Tell You

Yesterday this article was in the Wall Street Journal:  Didn't Get the Job? You'll Never Know Why.  Lauren Weber explores what it feels like to be the interviewee, thinking that you did really well in the meeting and thought you were a shoe in for the job, only to finally find out you didn't get the job, and that the company went with someone who was better suited for the role. As the job seeker, this really doesn't allow you to learn what your weakness was and improve on it.  

Often as the interviewer, I know that there are certain things that arise during the discussion that cause a candidate to fall out of consideration. These can be big things, like the resume didn't accurately represent the person's experience or that the person's salary requirements were out of whack.   Sometimes they are little things, like a candidate arriving late to an interview, having vague answers to questions or not seeming engaged in the interviewing process.  And sometimes it is something you can't put your finger on.  Yes, it happens.

So, if you were just interviewed, you probably want to know what the reason was that you didn't get the job.  Of course if you don't ask you can't find out, but even if you do ask, often you will get vague generalizations about why you were not hired.  They decided to hire someone with more specific experience, the chosen candidate had significant academic credentials, the position has changed and the hired person was better suited for the role.  OK, these are real reasons, but were they THE reason.  

Interviewers and companies are reluctant to answer specific questions about why someone wasn't hired because they want to limit their exposure to lawsuits.  If you were to learn that you were not hired because the company thought you were planning on starting a family--or looked like you were pregnant--you may have cause for a discrimination lawsuit.  Looking at it from the company's perspective, if they did have a woman interview who was clearly in her final month of pregnancy, isn't it fair for them to think that the work they need done now would somehow suffer while she's on maternity leave?  So they don't hire her, and say they chose someone with more experience, etc., etc. 

How would you feel if you didn't get the job because your belt and shoes didn't match or your tie was too skinny.  Who even looks at that nowadays?  Well, sometimes it is little things like that which stick in an interviewer's mind after the interview and raise questions.  I know it seems trivial, but that little nagging question has a way of derailing a candidacy.  If I was to say that you didn't get the job because of this mismatch--wouldn't you feel offended?  Wouldn't you want to scream at me that I'm being childish and that I don't understand that you are the ideal person for this role?  Of Course. So what can an interviewer say?  The interviewer gives you a platitude and says better luck next time.

Ok, so you've been interviewing and are always the runner-up.  What can you do to find out what works and what doesn't?  The article mentions a program that HireArt put in place.  HireArt's co-founder offered to give people 15 minute mock interviews and give them true assessments.  Not everyone was happy with the feedback they got, but HireArt has found that the assessments are very popular and are continuing to offer them periodically to job seekers that they are working with.

Last year I got a call out of the blue from a father whose son was just wrapping up his Bachelor's Degree in Business.  The father asked if I would be willing to do a mock interview and provide feedback to the son.  I was game, and met with the son for an hour about a fictitious job I had presented to him.  Afterwards we did a 30 minute recap.  I will say that it was an interesting meeting, and I was happy that the son was really engaged in the process.  I put my notes together and sent it to the son and father afterwards, including some stuff that may have been easier to put in writing than to say in person.  Yes, dad, he should cut off the ponytail if he's looking to work in a more conservative setting.  But he was really professional and gave spot on answers.  The family and I have stayed in touch, and now the son is working within the wine industry, gainfully employed.  


Knowing the potential for lawsuits, you have to understand if companies don't give out specifics about why you weren't the one hired.  Maybe I'll get a release of liability from job seekers and just tell them what they really need to hear......

The Key to Making Eye Contact, and Making it Matter

Great article from WSJ about eye contact in interviewing and work settings.  Learn the art of making, and keeping eye contact, for the right amount of time.

Be a Poser: Learn something from Wonder Woman and Amy Cuddy.

I was sitting at my Cardiologist's office last month and got a clean bill of health.  I just gotta cut back on the espressos.  He also prescribed to watch a TED Talk about posture.  Hmmm, was this going to keep my ticker ticking?  Well, doctor's orders, so finally this morning I filled that prescription and took a look at Amy Cuddy's Ted Talk: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are.

Amy Cuddy did research on "faking it till you make it", which studies how our nonverbal posturing affects how others perceive us.  The idea was that if you exhibit a power pose people will think of you as more powerful.  Her studies showed that test subjects hormones changed based on their posture.  Power posers were found to have high testosterone and low cortisol (that dreaded stress hormone).

Furthering her research, she had test subjects go into an interview, where the interviewer had absolutely no emotional feedback during the interview (the interviewer was deadpan for the 5 minute interview).  This is thought of as one of the most stressful business situations most people may ever encounter.  During the interview the subjects were either exhibiting a power posture or a nonthreatening pose.  Later the interviews were screened for various factors.  The results were that the interviewees who were exhibiting power postures were found to have great presence and thought of as very competent for the job.  It wasn't about knowledge or talent, strictly about the pose they took during the interview.

Cuddy's recommendation is for you to embody a power pose.  Strike a pose like Wonder Woman.  If it is in the bathroom before the interview--great, do it.  If it is while you are on a phone interview with a potential employer, do it.  Amy Cuddy recommends everyone to do little tweaks to their posture to get big results.  Think about what pose you strike when you are interacting with others--and find out how to make it a more confident one.

And for all you future interviewees out there, another recommendation I love is this:  Before your next interview, with a thick marker, write on your underwear "I AM THE BEST".   (Read Dan Ariely's full advice here.)

Go Get Em!

What are Employers Looking for These Days?

Recently Nick Schulz wrote "Hard Unemployment Truths About 'Soft' Skills" in the WSJ.  While I know many people have been hard hit by the recession, I do also know that sometimes the littlest things make the biggest differences.

Non-Technies Need Not Apply? Nick Schulz reported on the struggle manufacturing companies face to find qualified applicants for open jobs.  With manufacturing becoming more high-tech, it is easy to believe that the work force needs to be more computer savvy and technically competent.  It may come as a surprise to many that the biggest challenge many employers have is finding applicants with the "soft" skills you may take for granted.  These skills include being polite, motivated, enthusiastic, and able to answer a phone professionally.  The hiring managers also noted that sometimes it is hard enough to even find applicants that can pass the drug test.

What New Skills Employers Are Looking For?  Earlier this week I was meeting with a sales executive who has worked for many prestigious wineries in California.  He asked me what skills people are looking for in their sales staff.  I paused, and thought about it for a moment and said, "Someone who does their job."  I felt a little flat-footed, but really most often the hardest thing to find is someone who actually does their job and takes pride in their work.  And when you find someone who does, you don't want to let her go.

New Skills Versus Effectiveness:  Yes, it is true that we have lots of new technology and skills that we want our employees to have.  Knowing how to update a Facebook page is important if you are doing social media and having advanced point of sale system experience will make you a hot commodity--but if you waste your time lost in social media sites or don't actually work to make a single sale using the POS system--you aren't worth anything.

A Peek Into the Entry-level Job Scene

What it is Like Out There:  Recently my college-aged son has been looking for a part-time job.  He went to an informational session at a large logistics company and felt very out of place.  As his mother instructed, he wore his nice khakis, an ironed dress shirt, a tie and his best (read only) dress shoes.  He took his resume and reference list along in a folder.  Reporting back afterwards, he said he was the only guy there that wasn't "sagging" and the only white guy who wasn't sporting dreadlocks. (Please, reader, I love dreadlocks as much as the next guy--but thought it was a very interesting remark)

Set Yourself Apart, Nicely:  Today he is going back for a real interview.  Going over his game plan yesterday, I asked if he was going to wear a tie again.  He said, "Of course, I have to set myself far apart from the mirror-foggers."  Now this is a part-time job during college loading boxes into freight trucks.  He's hoping to get a grave shift and work in a 30 degree warehouse during the holiday season.  This isn't the highlight career for most people--but my son is really looking forward to working hard, getting paid and getting lots of extra hours during the holiday shipping season. 

Learning the Ropes:  Two years ago my son went for his first interview with the parks department to help clean up garbage and pull weeds around the city during the summer.  Getting to the interview, he said he again was the only guy not "sagging" and noted that most of the girls there were wearing short shorts and were baring their midriffs.  When he sat down at the interview table, he asked the interviewer if she would like to see his resume.  While she was shocked that he brought one, she took it and conducted the interview.  He got the job and got to spend many 100+ degree days picking up garbage and fixing playgrounds around Sacramento. 

Getting the reference:  Yeah, so maybe these jobs aren't going to find my son living in a mansion and partying on a yacht--but he's a step ahead of a lot of unemployed people out there.  In his summer job he learned how to work as part of a team, a little about money management and how to do the job his supervisor wanted done.  Never missing a day of work--and only forgetting his steel-toed boots once which caused him to be 5 minutes late to work--made his supervisor happy, and she has been a great reference.  He also has a good job to put on his resume, helping him get the next job.

What Can You do to Improve Your Hireability?

Make Sure you Polish your Soft Skills:    Be polite and approachable when interacting with a potential employer.  Make sure you use good grammar in communications with them and follow-up as requested.  Be consistent in your information, especially when it comes to job history and responsibilities.  Dress appropriately for a job interview.  Don't Sag!  Act professional.  Be enthusiastic about the opportunity to meet with anyone at the company and sincere about your interest in working for them.

Know What's Relevant:  Yes, most likely you have more experience than needed to load freight trucks--so make sure you brush up on your specific experience and know what talents you bring to the role.  If you are applying for a job that requires knowledge of sales tracking software--make sure you study up on it so you can talk intelligently about your expertise on it and discover where you might need additional study.  Be honest about areas that you don't have the required experience, but if you can show how you can acquire that knowledge, you are showing you know a lot about the job.

Act Like You Want to be Hired:  It may sound funny, but I can often tell when someone isn't really into the job hunt.  Statements such as, "Well, maybe it would be better if I continued to work for a friend instead of taking a full time role" or "If I take a job I will lose my unemployment benefits"  are interview killers for me. Why are we talking here?  Didn't you apply for the job?  When you are talking to a hiring manager they are listening for little clues about how likely you are to take the job, and also to keep the job.  When you put up little red flags it may give the hirer pause.  Mulling it over they may decide to keep looking, or bring in that other person who seemed to really want the job.  Don't shoot yourself in the foot--if you are interviewing you should be prepared to take the job.  Or at least seriously consider the offer. 

Crossing My Fingers:  Right now my son is in that interview.  I do hope he's been listening to his mother all these years.  And that he wore a belt!  He'd better pass that drug test.

The Interview over Lunch: What to Do?

This morning I was reading the job section of the newspaper, and this study caught my eye: The Imbibing Idiot Bias:  Consuming Alcohol Can be Hazardous to Your (Perceived) Intelligence.  This study conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan and University of Pennsylvania looked at how people's perceptions of another changed when the person ordered an alcoholic drink during their meeting.  The researchers found that when a person ordered or drank an alcoholic beverage, the other person thought they had lower intelligence.  As they stated,  "We find that the bias may be costly in professional settings. Job candidates who ordered wine during an interview held over dinner were viewed as less intelligent and less hireable than candidates who ordered soda. However, prospective candidates believe that ordering wine rather than soda will help them appear more intelligent."  Hmm, sounds like something I should explore!

Often, I conduct interviews over lunch or dinner at a nice restaurant.  Being in the wine business, these lunches regularly occur in wine country and at places with very nice wine lists.  It is natural to order a drink, right?  No, it is never a given that any alcohol will be consumed during these meetings--but the very notion of having a drink is full of speculation--on my part yes, but I am sure on my guest's part too.

Case History One:  Several months ago I was asked by a friend to do a mock interview of their son who wanted to make his way in the wine business world.  Having almost finished his degree in business and with prior work experience in wine sales and restaurants, it was interesting to me to find out how he would do in this mock interview.  He handled himself very professionally in the contrived setting, and came across well in the interview.  After the interview I debriefed him on how he did and also gave him my take on possible options for him in the wine industry.  Since he and I had met at a restaurant and only consumed water during the interview, I wanted to make sure the restaurant made a little money off of my table that afternoon, so I encouraged him to order something to eat and drink.  I ordered a light appetizer, and a glass of wine.  Did he?  No.  Smart man.

When I put together my notes from this meeting for his parents, I mentioned his abstaining from drinking during our meeting, and gave him big kudos for that.  I think drinking alcohol can be fraught with meaning in a business setting, and for a young graduate, something to stay away from at all costs.  Oh, I know I'm a wine industry recruiter, but an interview is an interview, and the same rules apply.

Case Histories Two and Three:  On the flip side of this, this weekend I had several meetings with both job seekers and clients who were discussing projects.  At one of the interviews I ordered a beer but my interviewee did not--although we were dining at a brewery.  I thought this showed a lot of restraint on her part, and of course caused me to start to worry about how I was being perceived!  At one of my project meetings my client brought along one of their wines to try--so of course I had a glass of this wine.  But I did not have a second glass, nor did he.   

What to Do:  When meeting with a prospective employer, keep your demeanor completely professional.  Now, we do want to find out a little about you when we meet, so don't worry about talking a bit about your personal life.  And when meeting at a restaurant for an interview, try to brush up on your basic etiquette so you don't embarrass yourself by drinking out of the ice bucket.  And try to match your dining companion's pace and conversation style.

Pace Yourself: Yes, pace yourself my friend!  This can be the hardest thing to do at a business lunch--but I'm not talking about pacing your drinking.  Try to see what kind of meal this is going to be.  When you first arrive you'll get the menu and maybe hear about the dining specials.  I think this is a great opportunity to gauge how much food the other person may be eating.  If they mention that the salad at this place is a meal in itself, they may be planning to just have a salad for lunch--so stay away from ordering an appetizer, a salad, a soup, an entree and a dessert.  You'll have plate after plate coming at you, and your guest and others waiting for you to eat.  The meeting is a time to show off you talents for the job, not how much you can eat.  I also try to let my companion order first, so I can see if they will be having a few courses or sticking with only an entree.  If they order a first course, I try to too.  I don't want them to be desperately trying to finish their soup before the next course comes, while carrying on a conversation about what we are really there to explore.  So, try to keep your order in sync with theirs.


Order Wisely:  Ok, now that you've thought about the amount of food you should order, try to take into account how the food you want to eat will interfere with your meeting.  A few weeks ago I ordered a wonderful summer stew at a meeting, and was very worried when it had shell-on crustaceans and whole cobs of corn to wrestle with.  It was even better when my corn cob sailed through the air after I was trying to get the kernels off using a knife and fork.  While I don't like to get too picky with what I am ordering, it may have been better to make sure this seafood stew would be meeting friendly.  Years ago I worked at a company that forbid us employees from ordering anything that required eating it with our hands.  I have followed this policy loosely in all my ordering--staying away from big juicy burgers and shying away from french fries.  But I do slip occasionally and order something that requires manual manipulation.

And Now the Big Decision:  "And what would you like to drink today?" the waiter asks you eagerly.  If your answer is "hair of the dog that bit me" or "double scotch on the rocks" you may find that your meeting quickly devolves from a meeting highlighting your stellar qualifications into something much less spectacular.  If they say they would like to try one of the beers on tap, or ask the waiter what wine would be good with their fish--be hesitant in ordering a drink too.  You can't go wrong with water--sparkling or still.  Another safe option often is iced tea.  And good old lemonade can keep you focused and hydrated. Isn't that why you would want something to drink anyways?

Why You are There:  Alright, so now that you got all the ordering taken care of, keep your focus on the meeting--not the food.  You want to enjoy your meal--but if you have something that is so-so--keep your opinion to yourself and carry on with the conversation.  If there is truly something wrong with your meal, decide what you need to do--if you must send it back--do it, nicely.  But if it was a little underwhelming, eat a little and be happy you won't get caught with your mouth full of food very often.  You want to be talking a lot, so don't worry if you don't eat much.  Just have your plates cleared when your companion's are, and be thrilled to get the time to highlight your qualifications.  

Coffee Anyone?:  And if the meeting is going well and your host wants a cup of coffee, by all means have one too.  This time can sometimes be a nice chance to talk without plates of food between you, and often is a time to see what the next steps are in the interview process and learn how you are being perceived by the--hopefully future--employer.